What Money and Confidence Have in Common
Money and confidence grow from the same place: noticing what you already have instead of focusing on what is missing. When we live from "not enough," we spend the money we have from a place of worry, and we show up in the world from a place of self-doubt. Scarcity ultimately shows up in every conversation, in the energy you carry, and the actions you take.
However, when we start from "I have," both our money decisions and our sense of self become calmer and clearer, which leads to better decisions and actions.
Wealth and confidence don't start with getting more. They start with feeling what you already have - which the book The Having so beautifully illustrates.
In this post, I'll share what that means, why it matters so much for confidence, and one small practice you can start today.
What is The Having about?
If you are not familiar with the book The Having: The Secret Art of Feeling and Growing Rich, it was written by Suh Yoon Lee and was a #1 bestseller in South Korea. The book focuses on a concept called "Having" which I fell in love with. The book teaches that when you embody and practice the feeling of Having, you attract and create REAL wealth. And that's important to me, because REAL wealth is not just financial, it is also quality of life and your level of happiness.
What drew me to this book as a confidence coach is how practical it is. It doesn't go into high level concepts like most books do - which makes it hard to apply. Instead, it asks you to notice the ordinary moments where you already have what you need, and it is filled with daily examples to help you do that.
How a scarcity mindset shows up with money
So let's talk money mindset. Most of us spend money, and energy, from a place of lack. Here is what it sounds like:
"I can't afford it."
"There's never enough."
"I'll relax once I have saved more."
The Having invites us to flip that. When you pay your rent, buy your coffee, or fill your gas tank, pause and notice: I have enough to do this.
That small shift moves you from scarcity into gratitude. The bill still gets paid either way. What changes is the feeling you carry while paying it, and that feeling is where real growth begins. It starts changing your relationship with money and your whole life ultimately.
What money and confidence have in common
But the concept goes far beyond money. The same "lack" voice shows up in how we see ourselves:
"I'm not ready yet."
"I don't have enough experience."
"Other people have it figured out."
I hear these words often from the business owners and professionals I coach. They often come to me saying "I have self-doubts," when what they are really carrying is a scarcity story about who they are.
Just like with money, you already have more than you are giving yourself credit for: skills, wisdom, resilience, and people who believe in you. Our mind looks for evidence. When we keep pointing it toward what's missing, it finds more lack. When we point it toward what's already here, it starts finding proof that we are capable.
That is why I don't believe confidence comes only from pushing yourself into action. It grows when we stop focusing on what's missing and start honoring what's already here, and then act from that place.
I have lived this too
I remember being in that scarcity mindset, especially as I navigated various transitions in my life: from teaching to HR, from corporate life to running my own business. Each time, the loudest voice in my head was "you don't have the experience." Not enough experience, not enough credentials, not enough proof. And this was because it wasn't just a career shift, it was also an identity shift. However, things began to shift when I started taking inventory of what I did have, instead of what I didn't.
Is this just positive thinking?
No. This isn't about pretending everything is perfect or ignoring real challenges. Bills are real. Hard seasons are real.
It's about choosing where you put your attention (wherever you put your attention is ultimately what grows). So when you start from "I have," you make decisions from a calmer, clearer place instead of from panic. And from that calmer place, you tend to notice opportunities, and say yes to them, that fear would have hidden from you. And you also vibrate differently - which ultimately dictates the opportunities that come into your life. So "Having" is the foundation for everything.
Try this: The Having Pause
The Having Pause is a one-breath practice you can use every time you spend money this week. It takes about five seconds.
Pause. Right before you tap your card or hit "pay," stop for one breath.
Say it. Out loud or in your head: "I have this."
Notice. How does your body feel? Lighter? Calmer? More confident?
Write it down. At the end of the day, jot down one moment that stood out.
Once this feels natural, try the same pause with your confidence. Before a sales call, a networking event, or a hard conversation, say: "I have what I need for this." Then name one skill or past win that proves it.
I would love to hear what you notice. Leave a comment below or send me a note.
Join the free Women Who Grow Together book club on November 19
On Thursday, November 19, 2026, we'll dive deeper into The Having together: what it means to feel abundant, how to practice it daily, and how it builds lasting confidence. The book club is free, and you are welcome whether you have finished the book or just started.
Frequently asked questions
What is the "Having" feeling?
It's the felt sense that you already have enough. Instead of focusing on what you lack, you notice and appreciate what is already in your life, especially in everyday moments like paying for something.
How are money and confidence connected?
Both are shaped by a scarcity mindset. The same voice that says "there's never enough money" often says "I'm not enough" or "I'm not ready." Shifting your attention to what you already have helps in both areas.
How can I build confidence with a scarcity mindset?
Start small. Notice what you already have: skills, past wins, people who support you. Write them down. Then take one aligned action from that place, rather than forcing yourself to act while feeling empty.
Do I need to read The Having to join the book club?
No. You are welcome whether you have finished the book, started it, or just want to join the conversation.
Who is a confidence coach for?
Anyone stuck in self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or a big life transition. I work with solopreneurs, business owners, and professionals who want to feel confident and successful, whether it is networking, selling, speaking up, or showing up as themselves fully and authentically. Confidence is the root of business success - it controls all of your actions and decisions and that is why we start with this when we want growth.
Ready to move through self-doubt?
If imposter syndrome or self-doubt is keeping you from showing up fully, I would love to support you. Book a free, pressure-free 45-minute call, dedicated entirely to you, and we'll talk through your options.
With love and gratitude,
Lu
About the author
Lu Tandazo is a Life Transition and Confidence Coach and the founder of Dream Into Success, based in Charlotte, North Carolina. A former teacher and HR professional, she has coached clients for five years and is certified through Proctor Gallagher. She helps business owners and professionals rebuild their confidence, self-image and identity so they can lead, grow or pivot confidently.
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