Today I saw this quote and it really resonated with me.
Why? Not because it’s psychology 101 but because for us parents of special needs children, this idea is really tested – even though it is even more important than ever.
How is it tested? Well, our child is diagnosed, they are not meeting their milestones, we are “educated” about our child’s condition and what they may or may not be able to accomplish. For some of us, the idea of our child becoming an adult is also the idea of a forever child or a forever dependent, regardless of age. So yes, our ability to believe in our child is tested.
But what happens when we accept what doctors, literature, and the like have told us about what our child will ever be able to accomplish? We stop believing. We started putting limitations on our child’s potential, usually unconsciously. It may be our own worries or it may be because evidence seems to point that way from a medical perspective.
Human potential is however something that no scientist, no doctor can predict. As a parent, it is important that we learn to use our mind, our higher mental faculties, to unlock that human potential so that our child can reach their full potential, no matter what that may look like. One of the higher mental faculties that is required here is a shift in perception.
Someone has said once that when you re-evaluate something, the thing itself changes.
Perception should only be one data point at one point in time, but we should never use it to predict someone’s potential. So regardless of where your child is at in their challenges and progress, BELIEVE. And focus on what they do well, focus on where they are making progress vs. their current deficiencies.
When you start shifting your perception to the idea that the sky is the limit for your child (even though you have no idea how it could happen), when you start truly believing and focusing on the strengths, you will enable and empower your child to reach their full potential.
You as a parent owe it to yourself, but owe it to your child. You already want what’s best for your child. But sometimes the way we use our mind is actually going against that. Learn to harness your higher mental faculties to produce better outcomes in your life and in your child’s life and future.
As a mom, I now recall hearing myself say things like “well, because of his condition, he will never be able to do this, he will never be able to do that, he will always struggle with that…” WRONG!!!!!! Once I shifted my mindset, stopped putting limits on what my child could ever accomplish, once I started focusing on his strengths and qualities, he started thriving! Our new motto is “he will find a way, there is always a way.” Sure, it may take him a little longer, he’ll do it at his own pace and maybe differently than anyone else, but he will be able to do it!
Working on my mindset has been really powerful for my family, including for my other children who battled with a lack of confidence or feeling unloved. Because let’s admit it, taking care of a special needs child with other siblings can create imbalances and other kids may feel they don’t get as much attention. This is not an easy task. But it all starts with the mind and shifting everyone’s perception - and that was key to changing dynamics and allowing everyone to thrive.
So what do you need to shift your perception about? What limits have you put on your child – whether consciously or unconsciously? How can you alter your perception to improve your child’s future and your family dynamics?
Want to learn more on how to do that? Join me on my 6-week year-end challenge where I dive into each of the higher mental faculties that we possess and how to use them to enable our kids to thrive and reach their full potential.
The challenge starts on 11/16/22 – time is ticking. Join me to finish this year strong and make 2023 your best year ever and see your family blossom! Sign up here.
Are you a special needs parent? Join my FB group on mindset for special needs parents.
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